Scene Immortal Page 8

  "Listen, kiddo. I'm not here to bitch at you. But... I'm not here to apologize either. I was kind of a cooz last night, I know, but... Hmm. The thing is, you've always been this very considerate kid, and mom and dad always knew and loved that about you, and I was always so proud that my 'popular little brother' was also incredibly kind and compassionate. So, last night kind of threw me off. No, it really threw me off. And I got pissed."

  "But... I wasn't home that late, and..."

  "Kyle, it has nothing to do with that. Look, I don't wanna venture too far into creepy territory here, but, I saw your neck last night... and ew, God this morning too,” she said as she shot a glance down at me and then quickly looked away. "First of all... hickeys are so... just, no. We don't do that. But second, I mean..." She was having a lot of trouble with whatever this was. I was having trouble not laughing at her assumption that my mark from Andy was a hickey from a girl who couldn't kiss.

  "Kyle, do you ever think about Josh? Do you? And what he goes through? How do you think he felt when you went off to make out with whatever little ho-bag you met at the show last night? There he was, stuck, all alone, probably pissed and hurt that his best friend in the world had ditched him to go get his jollies in some gross bathroom at the Westridge Auditorium! And ... ugh... shit, can't you see what he's going through?"

  At first, when she'd mentioned my neck, ice cold terror raced through my system in a nanosecond. But then, I got it. And I started smiling. She thought I had a hickey from some little desperate Emo chick at the show last night. We called those kinda girls "show trash,” and my friends and I never messed with them. Sex, as far as we were concerned, was strictly a second-date thing, at the earliest. And most of these girls weren't worth dating twice. Still, I thought she was way over reacting. I mean what was Josh "going through" exactly, that he would be that pissed about me going off for a snog in a corner. He'd just shake his head and call me pathetic. And then laugh.

  "Shannon, um, you have the wrong idea. I didn't get with a piece of show trash last night. Believe me."

  "You're telling me that that thing on your neck has nothing to do with some girl you picked up at the show."

  "Not even close. And believe me, Josh wouldn't disapprove of this thing being here." God wasn't that the truth! Josh would go batshit when I told him. At least, that was my hope. Either way, I still had to muster the courage.

  She gave me a very funny knowing look. Then she blushed.

  "Oh. Oh... Well. Okay... Okay! Right. Um... Well, cool. God. Um, I'm sorry I reacted so harshly last night then and I really do hope you had a great birthday and I gotta go for a run now okay bye!"

  What... the... hell?

  Whatever, at least she was off my back for now. Something would have to happen, though. Would I tell her? Didn't I have to? How long did I wait? Great, add these to the stockpile of questions already filling my brain to the skullcap.

  I shut my eyes, and tried to sleep.

  That was when my cell went off.

  CHAPTER EIGHT: JOSH COMES AROUND

  Didn't matter. I wasn't going to get any sleep anyway. I picked up the phone.

  "Yeah?"

  "Ooh, hey grumpy! Guess last night wasn't all it promised to be?"

  Oh my God. It was my Jackie-Bird. Okay, well, Arthur's Jackie-Bird. Vomit. If this had happened yesterday, I would have frozen up, stuttered, and said something awkward. As I was now, nah, totally cool. A little shaken, but totally cool.

  "Hey Jackie. Sorry, I just haven't had any sleep. And I'm not really grumpy, you just got me thinking."

  "Wow, miracles do occur,” she chirped.

  "Cute. What do you want?" It was surprisingly hard to be cold to her, even as a vamp.

  "Relax, I'm just playin'. I was just calling for dish on last night. Josh said the show was amazing, but he tends to kinda be a drama queen about any show that doesn't suck. So I wanted the discerning opinion of the Great Scene Audiophile."

  I chuckled, mainly because she was right about my best friend. He was incredibly dramatic and sensitive. He tended to exaggerate if something got him off just the slightest bit. And it was the same thing in the other direction. I'd seen the guy cry at commercials. Sometimes I thought our roles as Goth and Emo were reversed.

  "The show was truly amazing, he's not exaggerating. It was, yeah, it was mind-blowing actually. I can't think of one honest criticism to give. No way to cut it up. It rocked in every way."

  "Can a Darkwave band 'rock'?"

  "Um, Alphatwyn certainly can. Do not question the greatness!"

  We both laughed at my faux seriousness.

  Then the silence came. Awkward, crackly, full silence.

  "So, yeah,” she tried. That was weird, Jackie was usually not only verbose, but very well-spoken. She used to hate on my slang and my "linguistic short cuts" all the time, when we were still a thing.

  "Ya know, you haven't called me in a really long time. And... I'm not dumb, I know that's 'cause I kinda act like a douche around you most of the time. But, before this convo goes any further, I just wanna say that I really am totally grateful for what you did for me."

  She sighed, long and loud.

  "Kyle, that really is sweet of you. And, I mean, I sort of don't even deserve it. I mean, let's face it, I left you. I cheated, technically. I was a bitch."

  "Gone baby gone, all in the past, and all that."

  "Yes. I know. Right. But, the thing is, I never said I was sorry. I never really apologized, atoned if you will. I tried, but you always cold-shouldered my ass, which I definitely earned. But, I just wanted to take this opportunity to say that I'm sorry. So there, it's official."

  "You are absolved, and stuff,” I laughed.

  She lingered. "Yeah..."

  "I'm sorry, am I being thick? Are you... damn, I'm sorry, I mean obviously you weren't really just calling for a recap of the show. What's going on? I appreciate the apology much, but, there's something else bouncing around your brain, babe." Doh.

  That last word had slipped. She must have heard my breath catch.

  "Ha, it's okay, I called you my boyfriend for two weeks after we'd broken up. That made Arthur happy, you can be sure. But ya know, some habits die hard."

  "I do know. Yeah."

  More crackly, fat silence. Then she inhaled all biggish.

  "I need to talk to you. To see you. We need to talk. Okay?"

  Josh's voice boomed in the background. "Oh my GOD, who are you talking to?"

  She clearly had covered the phone. "It's Kyle, and..."

  He snatched it from her and got all crazy in my ear. "Hey, jerknut! I'm coming over, 'kay?"

  "Um." My head was spinning. "Yeah. Sure man, come on." We probably needed to have a little talk anyway.

  I heard a door shut in the background and Jackie was back on the phone.

  "Jerk. Anyway, as I was saying. When you get the time, I'd like to hang out."

  "Of course, Jackie-Bir... Jackie." Number two. Nice.

  "Yeah. So. Later Kyle. Glad you had a cool birthday. Welcome to your magical eighteenth year." She had let the "maaagical" linger and drip with sarcasm. Then she clicked off.

  I wasn't stupid enough to get my hopes up, but was happy that she wanted to talk. And in the midst of everything, there were much more pressing matters on my mind, for sure.

  Josh would be here soon, for one. And what would I do then? Shit dude, I said to myself, you're a freakin' vampire, play it by ear, play it cool.

  What the hell.

  ~ * ~

  The doorbell rang, and instead of any kind of cold fear streaking through me, as would have totally happened before, I straightened up and got excited, and swelled with a new kind of pride in myself, and what I was.

  I heard Shannon letting Josh in, and a smile spread across my face. Part relief, part pride, part total joy at sharing my secret, letting it off my chest, and possibly scaring the hell out of my best friend for a second, only to have him (probably) be non-plussed afterward. Josh was, after
all, the kinda dude who pretty much believed in anything and everything, especially his patented "possibility of all" theory. He had bored me with that more times than MTV had bored viewers with shitty reality shows. Sometimes, though, he would wax philosophical long enough to get me going, to put me in a state of excitement about his theory, and the fact that, well yeah, maybe anything was possible. And here I was, his theory made flesh.

  He knocked on my door.

  "Come in, Dark One." It was an old joke. And lame. But it was a natural term of endearment this late in the game. Ironic though, I thought, after today he might have to start calling me "Dark One."

  He was flushed. He had run here, obviously. There was a sheen of sweat on his forehead. And he was looking at me in a way I'd never seen him look before: nervous.

  And here I was, all cool and hard and still as stone, in the same clothes from last night. Damn, I must have looked a total fright to him. He sure took his time looking me up and down before he spoke. A small, like baby hint of a smile crossed his mouth, and "Hey,” was all he said.

  "Hey?"

  "Um. Hi, Kyle." He shook his head at himself, like he knew he was being stupid and awkward, and probably for no reason. What the hell was really going on? I started to wonder how much I was going to be hit with today. Let's see, I'm a vampire, Jackie's calling me and giving me false hope about... something, and now my best friend is standing in front of me, tongue-tied, which had literally never happened. Was he pissed about last night? Shit, this was throwing me all off track. I had been feeling in my gut that I would be able to tell my secret to Josh with ease, but clearly he had something to get off his chest.

  "Dude, I'm really sorry about last night. I really, really wish you could have come back stage. It completely sucks that you had to leave..."

  "Kyle!,” he shouted. "No. That's not it. At all. Just... can I sit down?"

  "Um, have you ever needed permission before?"

  "Right." He sat at the foot of my bed. He looked me straight in the eye, and a little bit of his wonky bravado and lanky confidence resurfaced. But just a little. "Kyle, it's pretty simple. I just need to tell you something. And I've needed to for a while. I don't know why it's started to bother me so much lately. Maybe last night and the past coupla weeks have had something to do with it, just remembering how cool it was to hang out with you. I mean, it was easier to ignore when you were off in mopey land, but since we're tight again, I mean duh, like we should be... I just, I have to tell you. To... just to even things out? Or? Just, no, just because you're my friend, you know?"

  "Wow, I can't wait to see where this is going!,” I smiled stupidly and raised my eyebrows.

  "Please, just... This is serious. I know, I'm not always incredibly serious, unless you know, of course, we're discussing music or film..."

  "The important stuff,” I interrupted, trying to lighten things up. Maybe to make him feel more at ease.

  "Please. Shh, for just a minute. Let me say this, then you can have your say. And, I'm sure you'll have a lot to say. Damn, redundant much? Ha." That last chuckle had come out dry, and without humor. He was really nervous. Poor guy. I didn't like seeing him like this.

  "My friend, I'm all ears, with lips sewn shut."

  "Okay." He re-situated himself, looked all around, took a couple of huge breaths.

  There was just silence for a few long seconds, and I started watching the dust particles dance on the sunbeams coming through my window. Amazing. So damn beautiful.

  Josh brought me back.

  "Kyle?"

  "Yeah man, I'm here... just... waiting. What's goin' on man? I'm your best friend. Spill it."

  "Kyle, the truth is, I'm gay. That's it. I'm a 'Mo, a 'homosex', a queer goth boi. And it's not that I think you'd really care one way or the other or that I think you're some kind of close-minded jerk, obviously, but it's... Well, it's much more that you're my best friend, my oldest friend, and I feel like I've hidden this from you for so long, kept it from you for no real reason, and I kind of feel deceptive and stupid about that. Plus, honestly, even the most open-minded friend can be taken aback by something like this."

  I just stared at him, bug-eyed, for several seconds, before almost laughing. "That's it? That's why you're flushed, and why you ran over here?"

  "Well, to be fair, I ran over here to loosen my body up, and hopefully make telling you easier."

  "Josh Dalton! It's 2009, I'm a makeup-wearing scenester guy who's been mistaken for gay more times than a femme Hollywood celebrity, and you're my best friend! What the hell?"

  "I... I know, it's just. Well, you don't know, that's the thing. I mean, yeah, there's this myth that we're living in this enlightened age and all that crap, but there are lots of queer haters out there, even in California." He tried to smile. "And, of course, I was worried you'd be pissed that I'd never told you."

  "I'm not freaked. I'm not pissed. I'm not weirded-out. I am, however, kinda amazed that I hadn't figured it out. But dude, you've dated some really hot Goth chicks. Hell, you've dated some really hot non-Goth chicks. And, I mean, I guess you're a stealthy bastard, 'cause I've never noticed you checkin' a dude out."

  "Yeah. Well. It's always been there. I've just never been really cool with being the least bit obvious about it. And yeah, I've dated girls. Ya know, just to make sure. And it was, well, pleasant and all, but didn't rev me up like, um, well, guys do."

  "Ha, that is such madness man! I love it! I'm really glad you told me. I just can't believe you took so long. You had to have known I wouldn't give a damn either way. And now that I think about it, this does explain why we've never fought over the same girl,” I winked.

  "Thanks, Kyle. And I am sorry, if I've made you feel like I didn't trust you or something ludicrous like that. It's just... can I be honest?"

  "I'd say you're on a roll."

  "Okay, well, it's just like, you've become this amazing guy as we've grown up together, and when I really started to face who and what I was all about on the inside, I started to recognize you as my amazingly hot, unattainable straight friend, so that definitely added to the angst in the decision making process of when and how to tell you. Ya know? Kyle? What are you looking at me like that for?"

  The truth was, I was touched. I know, I know, say what you want, but I was. His confession showed guts, proved true friendship, and complimented me like crazy all at the same time. Hell, if I'd had a gay bone in my body, Josh was probably the first guy I woulda gone for.

  "And don't you dare say 'aw dude, if I were queer, I'd so be all over you!'" Whoops. "I don't need to hear anything like that, and trust me, the hot Darkwave 'Straighties' are always saying that to me at the clubs, and it's more annoying than flattering, I promise. I just want you to continue being my best friend. Period."

  I looked at him. My heightened physical and emotional state made the moment twice as sharp and poignant as it would have been days ago. I think my newly-deep-blue eyes were almost misty with friendly sentiment. Josh was the greatest, and I loved the guy, just not the way he might have wanted. At least, at one time. I knew now he was just trying to tell me that he never wanted to lose my friendship, and that was fuckin' aces. I sat up, looked him directly in his wondering eyes, and cupped his face in my hands. I pulled him close to me, kissed him on the forehead, and embraced him in a long, warm hug.

  "Nobody. Ever. Could take your place in my life, Josh Dalton. You are the best friend a freak like me could ever ask for." He laughed.

  I broke the hug, held his shoulders, and pushed him arms-length away from me, and fixed him with a serious stare. I had a million questions to ask him about being gay. Did his sister know? Had he ever dated a dude? Was there somebody on his radar right now? What was his type? I was really curious about all that.

  But first, my turn to be scared.

  "Now, I need to tell you something," I said.

  His eyes were funny. He just looked at me kinda googly and said, "mmhmm".

  "Josh, something happened to me last n
ight. Do you notice anything different about me?"

  "Um... Hmm. I've uh, never seen you wear the same outfit twice in one weekend. And, well, your eyes, yeah, they look different, deeper. But that could just be a trick of my intense embarrassment right now."

  "Stop."

  "I know, just... go on."

  "Okay, so you notice a difference. Good. Maybe... wait, hold on check this out!" I lifted up my shirt, and Josh's eyes bugged out of his head all crazy and his face went crimson.

  "Yes... Yes, that's... What am I supposed to say? I guess you've been working out more?"

  Maybe it was a little cruel under the circumstances, but my barely visible six pack had become a bangin' eight pack sometime in between late last night and sunrise. Not only that, but my skin had gone at least a shade paler, though I knew that was the last thing Josh was going to notice right then and there.

  "You can put your shirt down now, I get it." He seemed dazed.

  "But you don't get it. I mean, you know I stay in shape, but I haven't been working out any more hardcore than ever before, and... well, damn Josh, my whole body is like this. Everything on me is super-defined and... shit, I guess I'm stalling. But I had to at least show you that much to maybe help you along to believing me."

  His eyes were still saucers. He swallowed hard. "Uh-huh."

  "Josh. Andrew Vandridge and Victoria Vixen aren't... human. And well, now, neither am I. I'm a vampire, Josh." Ohmygod it felt good to say it out loud!

  As expected, Josh simply sat there, all messy blonde hair and lanky body stock still on my bed. When he spoke, that was the surprise. "Why did you kiss my forehead?"

  "Huh?" I could not have been more caught off-guard by this all-too-fair question.

  "Why? Why did you kiss me on the forehead?"

  "'Cause... you're my friend, and I love you. And I wanted you to know that I wasn't... well, afraid, or a 'mophobe or anything stupid like that. I mean, you know I can't love you that way, I'm not wired like that, but, I do love you. And I guess, maybe, I kissed you for having the balls to tell me something you were obviously afraid to tell, though like duh, you shouldn't have been. Make sense?"